Barbie Loflin

The following is a poem for those who have been lost in despair.  If you have ever walked in disobedience, given into sins temptation, and found yourself in a place you never thought you could possibly be, read on.

Our God is a loving, faithful God.  It is not His will for any of us to suffer or be far away from Him.  Unfortunately, we sometimes choose to walk away from His protective hand through disobedience, and find ourselves crying in the dark.  Satan loves to come at just that moment and push us over the edge into the abyss.  If we are not quick enough to grab the lifeline that God provides, we go tumbling, grasping at whatever looks like it might offer support.  Too many times, it is not His comfort we seek, but the comforts that the world has to offer.  They are fleeting.  We fall a little further and grab onto something else just as fleeting.  Compounding the problem is the fact that the further into the pit you fall, the less you see.  Things you would have , at one time, avoided like the plague, become “not so bad”, if they help you feel better for the moment.  But the moment soon passes and you are left alone again.

There was a time in my life that I visited this place where despair dwells.  His home was wrapped in beauty that drew me, but once firmly ensconced within his walls, I found myself in dank, decaying darkness, with no visible light.  I had accepted the lure, and found myself a prisoner.

When I finally found my way out, with the help of those who truly loved me, I blamed God.  Why did He let this happen to me?  Why didn’t He protect me from the one who sought my life?  Then, I began to walk in shame and embarrassment.  I built walls inside my heart to help me hide from God.  I didn’t want to love Him if He was not going to take care of me and cover me.  I turned from Him on the inside, but I did not walk away on the outside.  I am not sure which is actually worse.  For, when everything seems okay on the outside, we can fool everyone – including ourselves.

After a period of time, a lengthy period at that, (for those of you who may need encouragement and have been trying to overcome something in your life for a long period of time), the Lord said, “Enough!”  I sat down to work at the computer one day, totally unaware of what the Lord was getting ready to reveal to my heart, and out flowed the words that you will read on the pages that are to follow.  He restored me.  He covered me.  He showed me how He had been there all along.  He opened my walled -up heart and made me look inside.  He had to.  He alone knew what it would take to bring me fully back to Him.  He is faithful to do what it takes!

Please allow Him to search you heart as you read Restoration, for I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this is truly His plan for all of our lives; to be fully restored to the Father.  I have witnessed His handiwork.

He finishes what He starts.

 Restoration

How can I even begin, to share just what I feel?

How do I reach beyond the false veneer, exposing what is real?

To be laid out so openly, before my blinded eyes,

To strip away what others see, remove this old disguise.

What if I cannot find the heart that used to lie within?

What if there’s no substance, no victory left to win?

What if I reach oh, so deep, and find true shallowness?

What if while trying to come clean, I make a bitter mess?

Somewhere beyond the faith to look, Lies fear that longs to run,

From things best left in minds recess, And deeds I’d wish undone.

 Can past and present meet Without true rending of the soul?

Can fragments, pieces, shreds and parts, When mended make a whole?

What am I looking for?  Why must I undertake this quest?

Would not it be quite prudent, Lord, to let the sleeping rest?

 “Yes, there are times, when pasts let go, Forgotten ever be.

But there is a wall I’ll not let stand  Between My child and Me.

 You hide behind it, think I can’t find it,  And often shrink in fear,

But, I’ve come to tear it down,  Mirror before the face, sweet dear.

You fell away, yes, far away.  You let me down, it’s true.

Yet, through it all, My little one, My love still covered you.

 I turned My face away, My pain was great for you, I wept,

For promises were broken, And the vows you made weren’t kept.

You broke before my very eyes, Lay bruised and bloodied at my feet.

Though I longed to take you in my arms, Destined appointments you did keep.

 You turned your back, My hand went out, Stayed judgment from your brow,

I turned and cried to angels close, ‘We’ll help her soon, not now.’

I had to let you go, My love, For your heart did leave Me first,

You hungered and turned not to Me, Let others quench your thirst.

 Unfaithful each and every deed, Your heart hardened at My touch.

Through sleepless nights and deep soul fights, You threw away so much.

Into sins lair, you fairly ran, So eager to be free,

“No,” I called, “Please turn around, Come running home to Me.”

 But, even as the words went past My lips, I knew them lost,

For your course was set, a journey started, There would be great cost.

You could not see it taking place, For your eyes were dark as night,

But in heavenlies above, Began the true and earnest fight.

 You hang there in the balance, Each side your soul desired,

But prayers of those who loved you most, Watered Satan’s fire.

Scorched and singed you crawled to shore, Your piercing cries did start,

But they came mere from your circumstance, Not a true repentant heart.

 Wounds sustained in private battle,  Not so apparent to the eye,

Still stand open, festered, bleeding,  At this wall between you and I.

You do not trust Me to keep you sound, You fear I’ll give you up,

You think there’s no more water left, When I’ve a brimming cup.

 You thirst for what you cannot find, Hunger beyond your grasp,

While before you there’s a table spread, And you have but to ask.

You’re mad at Me, you feel I failed,  When you needed Me most.

Yet, in your deepest desperation, I assure, there was a Host.

 I never left you, beloved, True to the covenant we made,

When as a child, behind closed doors, Your hand and heart you gave.

I loved you with the deepest love, Your mind can’t comprehend.

I promise you, I have not changed, Same love now, as then.

 Hurt and disappointment, Have followed your steps much,

But I’ve come to tell you daughter, I bring the gentle Master’s touch.

It’s time to come out now, Dear One, The wall’s just in the way.

You’ve no need to hide,  Come love, abide, in the Father’s home today.

 Be restored, yes, full and wholly, No settlement for less.

The battles over, we have won, Come through another test.

You think you failed this time, But you will come to understand,

As David did, when sin realized, You sought the Father’s hand.

 No, not for gain, or gifts longed for. Child what you sought instead,

The touch of precious Shepherds hand, Upon the sheep’s small head.

Sweet comfort, sweet reunion, Precious fellowship is found,

When chains are loosed, past cast away, And fettered hearts unbound.

I love you still.

Be free, in My name.