Barbie Loflin

God always answers, one way or another,even when people don’t recognize His presence. (Job 33:11-13)

What do you do when you simply cannot find the words to tell Him how much you love Him?How do you sing a song to Him that only your heart knows?How do you lay out before Him, your soul open and longing for His touch, waiting for what you cannot even name?

That’s where I am today.I find myself so completely and beautifully broken before this God that I love.I am at once ready to cry and moved to laughter.
Overwhelmed.

Yes.

I am overwhelmed.

His goodness has gripped me, His heartbeat resounds in my ears, and I feel His breath winding through my spirit.  Oh, I love how He messes me up.
Mascara streaks my face as Kleenex form tiny Ebenezer’s all around this well-worn carpet.Just when I think I am fully unraveled and ready to sit upright, I feel that tight grabbing in the abdominal region and I buckle once again as His presence rocks my world.How foolish to think He was done with this work.

Face down I teeter between heaven and cool linoleum.

One prayer.One small sentence.I should have known He was listening.This ongoing revelation of lesser gods, and small pursuits; the painful disintegration of what I thought I knew.It brings me to but one conclusion:God is answering my unconscious prayer; “Father, let there be less of me and more of You.”

It sounded great at the time, somewhat holy, in fact, for the emphasis in my mind was upon the more of you part.Foolishly we think that more of Him is easily placed on top of what already exists within us.However, somewhere between the carpet fibers and eternity, the emphasis flew onto the wrong words, and it wound up on the less of me part.

And He just keeps answering.

As I move through prayer into the Holy Places of His presence, I am painfully aware that there is so much still to surrender, as clutched hands attempt to hide this heart and all of its shallowness.He allows me brief glimpses of my various vanities before He steps in and covers me, reminding me that He is enough… and less is inevitably coming.

Who could ask for more?