Barbie Loflin

I once wrote a song entitled “Seasons Change.” I was going through a change of seasons in my own life (I call it “changing seasons” because that sounds better than saying my life was falling apart).  I had become very focused on the fact that I was no longer a child and became overwhelmed by my grown up responsibilities.

I had two young children who thought I was actually supposed to know what I was doing, and a husband who had moved us six hours away from my family.  The Gulf War was in full swing and I was living in a state of full-blown panic.  My emotions took over and I became an unbelievable emotional mess.I really let Satan do a number on me (though I did know better) and by the time he was through, I felt like I was having a breakdown.

I think I actually longed for the oblivion of a breakdown…

I remember my husband coming home from work one evening and finding me crying in the bedroom.  When he asked me what was wrong, I of course, could not put it into words (only a woman knows what I mean), but he kept pushing.   Finally all came tumbling out something like this… “I was watching and Saddam Hussein is going to blow everything up and there is a fault-line that runs across this area of the country and they predicted an earthquake, and Matthew is never going to have any hair because Aaron’s teacher pinched his arm and the vacuum cleaner had smoke coming out of it and there’s no money for anything, and the world must be coming to an end, because long-distance phone calls to my mom just make me miss her too much.”

My poor husband, confronted with all of my frayed ends,  looked at me for a moment, completely at a loss, and then grabbed at the first option that came to mind…saying with all of the compassion of a cornered grizzly,  “If you don’t pull it together I’m sending you to your mother!”

What he failed to understand was that right then, I wanted nothing more than to be with my mother.  He thought he was making a threat, I thought he was dangling a carrot in front of me.  It makes me laugh now.  It made me mad then.   I was losing it and he did not know how to handle me.  The leaves were falling off my tree, a season of my life was fading away, and I did not know what to do.  I had come face to face with the fact that I was an adult woman and had somehow found myself in the middle of a life I had not planned.  I needed help.  I needed someone to lead me through a difficult time until I could have my feet firmly planted in that new season.

Times like this come for all of us.  These are the times when we look around and see ourselves living what appears to be a stranger’s life.   We look up one day and find the landscape is alien and we are not sure how we got where we are or where we’re headed next.  These are times when we would love to be little girls again.  We would love to have strong arms, wise words, and a comforting lap to crawl up into; someone to make sense of the confusion.

Well, my sister, we have just that. We have a Father who longs to take care of his little girl.He waits only for his child to ask.

Change is one of the few absolutes of life and beyond change lies the unknown. Only God can lead us through the changing season of our lives and into the beauty of our tomorrows.  He is a very loving Father… and He has a way of reminding us …

that new leaves will appear…

with the next season.